Author's Note: I always thought KOO's deposition at the end of "Stakes" was a bit too abrupt - it really needed another episode or two of build-up. And I'd have liked to see more of PB living in the cabin, free of her princess-y duties. This is a story I've been rolling around my head for a while now; figured it was about time I wrote it down. Thanks to the Adventure Time subreddit gang for a lot of inspiration and headcanon funtimes. This fic takes place during early season 7: after "Football", but before the "Stakes" miniseries.
This fic is dedicated to -space-boy-.
****************************************
"Heavy is the Head"
an Adventure Time fanfic by Carrehz (aka Sailor Nibaru, Carrie Clawz, Mew, etc)
Adventure Time!
Come on, grab your friends
We'll go to familiar, nearby lands
With King of Ooo
And Toronto the Shiba
The fun will never end
It's Adventure Time!
"Boss! Wake up!!"
The Shiba Inu ran into the bedroom, his words punctuated with a loud BANG! as the door slammed into the wall beside him, having been thrown open just seconds before. "Come ON, wake up already!" he continued, rushing across the room and up the steps of the dais that led to the princess' bed. "Geez, you always do this... globdamn it, K.O., this is important!" He flung himself over the footboard of the bed, crawling across the covers until he reached his target: the sleeping princess king. "Come onnnnn..." he whined, frantically shaking the wax man.
King of Ooo stirred. "mhnnstoppit," he mumbled, sleepily batting Toronto away.
"NO! The Kingdom, it's-"
"Fine, fine..." King of Ooo interrupted, yawning and stretching as he sat up. "What is it, Toronto?" Without waiting for a reply, he threw the covers back - flinging Toronto across the bed with them - and stepped out of bed, plucking a dressing gown from the floor and shrugging into it, the dull orange fabric clashing horribly with the soft pastels of his nightdress.
Toronto pulled the covers off his head, only to find King of Ooo was walking away. "H-hey, wait!" he yelled, scrambling off the bed and after the wax man.
He caught up with him in the hallway outside, barely noticing the other man slowing his pace slightly to match his own.
"Boss, there's a problem-"
"Get Finn and Jake to sort it out," King of Ooo said dismissively.
"You fired them the other week." At that, King of Ooo stopped, apparently remembering the incident.
"...Oh... oh, that's right..." he muttered, almost to himself. He shook his head, as if to clear it, and then continued down the corridor, raising his voice as he resumed talking. "What about that little guy that's always hanging around Bubblegum? What's his name... Mr. Sweetieman?"
Toronto gave him a look. "You mean her butler? He left the Kingdom when she did."
"Ah. Well, figure it out yourself, Toronto. Get those Banana men to do it, or something. I've got enough to deal with, you know?" As usual, the more he spoke, the more animated his voice - and gesturing - became. "These Candy People want me to do everything for them, I've barely slept a wink since this whole thing started! And you know, just the other night, that vampire friend of Bubblegum's came right into my bedroom when I was fast asleep! Scared the heck outta me - no wonder the Candy People prefer me if Bubblegum allows things like that to happen." By this point, they were standing outside a room; he paused, his hand on the door handle. "Say, Toronto, you think there's something going on between those two? They seem awfully close." He looked at the Shiba Inu, waiting for his answer, apparently genuinely curious as to his thoughts on the matter.
"Whu- WHO CARES?!" Toronto yelled, frustrated. "Boss, the kingdom's on FIRE!"
"...Aaaand?" King of Ooo asked, cocking his head to one side.
Toronto sputtered in disbelief. "Wh- yo- Do something about it! YOU'RE the one who wanted to play princess! At least get out of here before it affects us!"
"Hmmm."
He turned away from Toronto and entered the room; Toronto followed him, stepping over the clothes strewn around the floor - evidently this room was a walk-in closet of sorts - and continuing onto the attached balcony. He stopped next to King of Ooo, who was now looking at the chaos erupting below them. Toronto frowned; all he could see was the pink stucco that made up most of the Candy Castle. Muttering irritably, he launched himself at the balcony wall, scrabbling until he was high enough to see over the edge.
In the streets of the Candy Kingdom, the Candy People were in a complete panic, as the flames licked up the walls of their buildings. It wasn't a huge fire, not yet, but any kind of fire is alarming when one is small and composed mostly of sugar. Their cries of panic rang out loudly; "Help!" "I can't die again!!" "Princess!"
The two watched as one of the Candy People came running onto the scene, haphazardly carrying another Candy Person - a large punchbowl - over their head, his contents spilling everywhere. Without preamble, they flung the punchbowl at the fire, dousing a couple of the flames but mostly succeeding in setting both of them on fire.
King of Ooo leaned against the edge of balcony, resting a hand against his face. "They seem to have it under control."
****************************************
Outside the cabin by Lake Butterscotch, Princess Bubblegum - or just Bubblegum, these days, since her deposition - looked down at the flowerbeds, admiring her handiwork and allowing her mind to wander. She'd been working hard all morning, planting new flowers and tending to the flowers that were already there. It was nice, relaxing work, and it felt good to be working on something that, for once, was completely trivial. Something just for her, not her citizens.
"Beautiful work as always, m'lady." Peppermint Butler's voice pulled Bonnibel from her reverie; she looked over her shoulder, to find him standing behind her, holding a glass of lemonade on a small tray towards her.
"Oh, thank you!" She turned fully, taking the glass from him and sipping it. "Peps, this is great! Did you make it yourself?"
"Indeed," he said, obviously pleased that she'd noticed.
She smiled. "You're really into making stuff lately, huh? The garlic you're growing is coming along nicely, by the way." She jerked her head slightly, gesturing to the patch nearby. "What do you need all that garlic for, anyway?"
"Oh, you know..." he replied, trailing off and smiling mysteriously. Maybe he's trying out some new recipes, Bubblegum told herself. There was probably reason to worry; it wasn't like there was anything particularly dangerous about garlic. Besides, even if he did somehow manage to blow something up, at least it would only inconvenience the two of them, instead of potentially putting the whole of the Candy Kingdom at risk. She hoped it wouldn't come to even that, though - she really didn't want to have to rebuild the cabin a third time. Or fourth, depending on how you looked at it. She'd worked on it enough for a lifetime.
Still, she liked it here, despite the less-than-pleasant turn of events that had necessitated the move in the first place. Sure, it had needed a little (okay, a lot) of fixing up, but it was really starting to feel like home.
Peppermint Butler sat down next to Bubblegum, placing the now-empty tray in his lap. "So, what are your plans for today?" he asked.
"I invited the boys and Lady over for lunch, it'll be good to see them again." She took another sip of her drink. "Feels like I haven't hung out with Lady in forever. And I'm sure Finn and Jake'll have some interesting stories to share."
"Ah, hoping for gossip from the Candy Kingdom?"
Bubblegum nearly choked on her drink; she swallowed, choking back laughter as she gasped "Pep!!"
"What?" he said, feigning innocence - though he was grinning, too. "You're not curious if those bozos have run it into the ground yet?"
"Aheh..." her laughter died down somewhat, the comment serving as a sharp reminder of her situation. "I-I'm sure things aren't that bad over there." Peppermint Butler made a sceptical noise; Bonnibel continued quickly, eager to change the subject. "Anyway, what are you doing today?"
"This and that," he said, again smiling in the way that made her slightly concerned.
They sat in silence as Bubblegum finished her drink. When she'd drained the glass, Pep held the tray out to her; she replaced it, and he rose, turning to leave.
"Hey, Peps?" Bubblegum said suddenly, staring at the grass. "Thanks for sticking around."
"Of course, m'lady. And-" he paused, as if considering his next words carefully. "You'll get the kingdom back sooner or later. I believe in you."
She looked up, then; he was smiling at her - a warm smile, this time, not the somewhat unsettling one from before.
"Thanks, Peps."
****************************************
"Look, just put it on already, I haven't got all day. Geez..." Toronto grumbled, shaking the wig in his hand impatiently.
"Princess Bubblegum never made us wear stuff like this..." the Banana Guard in front of him said uncertainly. Behind him, a whole line of Banana Guards stood, fidgeting and talking amongst themselves.
Toronto rolled his eyes; this was the third such complaint he'd had to deal with so far. "Yeah, well, she's not in charge any more, is she? You've gotta do what the King says, now." He shoved the fluffy, dull yellow wig into the guard's hands, then gestured for him to move along. "Next!"
"Um, I have a question," the next Banana Guard said, edging forward as the previous one left the line.
"Yeah yeah, go ahead," Toronto said dismissively, rummaging around in the box beside him as he talked. He really just wanted to get this whole thing over with already. Dealing with idiots like these was so tedious - he'd had enough of that back in the Crystal Dimension. And yet here he was again, lowering himself to their level (figuratively speaking, anyway), and he wasn't even getting paid for it. Still, King of Ooo had asked him to do it; Toronto assumed he had some kind of plan in mind.
"Is - um, that guy we're working for now-"
"King of Ooo," he supplied promptly, handing a wig to the Banana Guard; he took it and quickly tried it on, adjusting it as he continued.
"Uh- is he the princess, or the king, or..."
"Both. Next!"
The next few Guards had no questions, and thus, the line moved surprisingly quickly for several minutes. Toronto was just starting to think he might actually get this done before sunset, when the relative silence was broken by a rasping shout.
"What's all this ruckus?"
An old candy corn man pushed through the crowd of Banana Guards, until he reached the front of the line, staring suspiciously at the Shiba Inu standing there. "What are you doing here? Who are you?"
"I'm here on behalf of the Princess," Toronto replied, pointing to the box of wigs next to him, "He asked me to hand these out. New uniform for the guards."
Colonel Candy Corn glared. "Princess? You mean the impostor that overthrew the real princess? He's not even made of candy! How can anyone other than a Candy Person run the Candy Kingdom?!"
Toronto growled impatiently - this was the last thing he needed. "He's wax candy, you idiot," he snapped without thinking, using the lie he'd prepared earlier, before catching himself - this old fool had no power against him. All Toronto needed to do was say the word, and he could have the guards drag this pathetic waste off to the dungeons. He smirked, slipping into the manner he'd used many times before, the one that always turned the tables in his favour. Well, usually. Most of the time. "And for your information, he won that election fair and square. Perfectly legal and above-board, I can assure you."
The old man opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Toronto added, "Now move along, this is royal business and you're slowing things down."
Colonel Candy Corn glared mutinously. "I'm the one in charge of the Banana Guards. I don't take orders from a lackey like you."
Lackey?! His fur bristled at the insult; forcing himself to remain calm, the Shiba Inu said, "I'm King of Ooo's attorney, and you'd better do as I say or I'll get him to-"
"Pah - lawyers. Nonsense. Princess Bubblegum never had one of those."
Toronto was rapidly losing what little patience he had left. "Well, maybe if she had, she wouldn't have lost the election. Come on, I need to-"
"I'll take it from here," Colonel Candy Corn interrupted again, pushing Toronto aside. He pulled a wig from the box and handed it to a nearby Banana Guard, who was watching the two's argument somewhat nervously.
Toronto opened his mouth to retaliate, then shut it again after a second's thought; it got him out of the job, so who was he to complain. He shot a quick glare at the colonel, then rushed out of the barracks quickly, before the old fool could change his mind.
By the time he'd gotten back to the Candy Castle and found King of Ooo again, he was panting; he could have sworn the barracks hadn't been so far away from the center of the kingdom. It had certainly seemed closer on the way there. Then again, he hadn't been running that time.
"Ah, there you are, Toronto! Perfect timing, as usual." King of Ooo said, not bothering to turn around.
Toronto looked up, still trying to catch his breath, and blanched. Perched on the ledge in front of King of Ooo was a giant, murderous-looking bird.
"Uh..."
"You see, I've found this thing - weird, isn't it? You think it's a princess too?" King of Ooo pointed to its head - it was wearing a crown, much like the one he was currently wearing. Toronto backed away slowly, thinking fast.
"I-I dunno, boss, it's probably just another one of Bubblegum's weird pets. You should just leave it alone. Remember what happened last week? With the cat thing, and the bird thing?"
The wax man responded with a non-committal grunt, apparently embarrassed by the reminder.
"And the week before, with that other cat... thing?" the Shiba Inu continued. "And before that, there was the dragon, and..."
"Okay, I get it!" King of Ooo snapped, interrupting his cohort. Toronto shook his head, unfazed by the interruption; he was used to it - expecting it, even.
"I'm just saying, maybe you should stick to messing with things that are smaller than you."
"You mean like you?"
"....No," he mumbled, looking away. He didn't even have to see King of Ooo's face to know he was smirking right now. The comment reminded him of what he'd wanted to ask, and he looked up again, staring at the wax man's back.
"Hey, um, King of Ooo? What am I?"
"Well, you're a little dog," came the absentminded reply; he was still peering thoughtfully at the huge falcon in front of him.
"No, no, what's my job." Toronto moved closer to King of Ooo, though he still kept a healthy distance between himself and Bubblegum's bird. He knew it was a stupid question, but the colonel's words still rankled.
"You're my attorney, I thought we'd established that."
"Yeah, but that was before! Now you're the princess, so what's that make me?"
At that, King of Ooo finally turned around and looked down at Toronto, smiling in a way that was somewhere between condescension and affection. "Aw, Toronto, if you wanted a title, you should've just said so! Why, you're my royal advisor, of course."
Toronto's tail flicked slightly, pleased with the new moniker.
"Now," King of Ooo continued, turning back to the bird. "How do I get this thing to..."
Without warning, the falcon lunged forward in a blur of feathers; Toronto moved quickly, yanking at the back of King of Ooo's dress and successfully pulling him out of harm's way just in time. The bird screeched, annoyed at being denied fresh prey, and spread its wings, flying away from the duo and into the distance.
"King of Ooo!" Toronto yelled, letting go of his skirt and rushing in front of him. "I told you to just leave it- it didn't get you, did it?"
The wax man was clutching one hand in the other, hissing slightly under his breath; he moved the top hand away, showing Toronto the affected hand. Toronto's quick action had mostly saved him, but the bird had still managed to lightly graze a couple of his fingers. It looked painful, but it wasn't bleeding. Or, well, he was pretty sure it wasn't. Toronto wasn't really sure if King of Ooo had blood, or anything like that.
"Be more careful!" the Shiba Inu chided, trying to stop his heart from thumping. "That stupid thing could've taken your whole hand off, geez."
King of Ooo shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the idea. "Oh, that'd be easy to fix."
"What." Toronto stated, flatly. He knew he should be used to the other man's bizarre claims by now, but after what had just happened, he wasn't really in the mood for it.
"Just need some heat, and..." He mimed sculpting a new hand, stopping when he saw Toronto's incredulous expression. "...What? I'm made of wax, remember."
"...I didn't really need to know that about you," Toronto said, sighing and shaking his head.
****************************************
"Hey, Finn, could you hand me that wrench?"
"Sure," he replied, tossing it to her.
Bubblegum caught it easily, flashing a grin at him over her shoulder. "Thanks." She turned back to the machine, tightening one of the thick, translucent pipes on top of its lid. "I'll be done with this soon. You guys arrived earlier than I was expecting," she added, testing the pipe with her hand and finding it to be solidly fixed now - good.
Finn leaned back against the workstation, the stool he was sitting on swivelling slightly as he did so. "No probs, Peebs. What's this thing do, anyway?"
"Oh, nothing special," she replied, smiling to herself. "Anyway, how're things going over at the Candy Kingdom? Anything interesting happen lately?" She moved onto the next pipe as she spoke.
"O-oh - uhhh..." An awkward pause. "Look- don't get mad or anything, but we kinda... got fired..."
Bubblegum stopped, halfway through adjusting the next pipe. "...Oh." She considered this for a second, then shrugged, returning to work. "Alrighty then. Can you hold this for a second?"
"Er, yeah." Finn stood up and walked over, taking the wrench from her as she leaned close to the machine, tapping the second pipe gently. So far, this one had proved more fragile than its twin, and she couldn't figure out why. "So... you don't mind? I mean, me an' Jake swore to protect the kingdom, and - y'know, King of Ooo's kinda..." he trailed off awkwardly.
"Yeah, well, it's his problem now. Him and his little secretary.. butler... guy can deal with it." She laughed slightly, looking up at Finn. "Hey, you think there's something going on between those two?"
He blinked. "...I dunno, maybe? Look, Princess-"
Bubblegum forced herself not to react, to remain calm; she knew he didn't mean anything by it, she knew the continued use of her title was just habit, that she shouldn't be bothered by it. She turned away from Finn, reaching over the machine's lid, testing the tube's connections. "I'm not the princess any more, Finn, remember? I'm just... Bonnibel. Just Bonnibel Bubblegum." The name almost sounded strange coming from her mouth, now; it had been a long while since she'd introduced herself as such. "I lost the election, and now the kingdom's King of Ooo's responsibility. You know that."
"Yeah, b-but- but you can't just leave those two in charge! What if they mess everything up, what if they do something to hurt the Candy People? Can't you-"
Something in Bonnibel snapped at that; she pulled away from the machine, whirling round to face him. "Don't you get it, Finn?!" she burst out, her voice rising with every word. "The Candy People chose him! They turned their backs on me, just like they did-"
She stopped abruptly, realizing her mistake a second too late. "Th-that- I, I mean," she stammered, her eyes wide. Finn said nothing, just stared at her in shock. "I, um-"
"Hey, guys, what'cha doing down here?" The voice rang out across the laboratory, a little too loudly, making the two jump. Bonnibel turned around; Jake's head was poking through the hatch leading to the lab, looking at them. Her face flushed; she could tell from his expression that he'd heard her outburst. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" he asked, in a would-be casual voice.
"Er..."
"N-no, everything's fine!" she cut across Finn, laughing nervously. "What, uh, what are you doing up there?"
It was obvious from Jake's face that he wasn't buying it, but he didn't press the matter. "Well, I'm making waffles, and PepBut's upstairs summoning a-"
"Sounds great!" Bubblegum said, too quickly. "Finn, you should go help out, I'll be up in a bit. Just gotta finish up here." She indicated the tools scattered around the floor of the lab, aware that her hands were shaking slightly.
"But-" Finn started, looking worriedly at her.
"It'll only take me a minute. It's okay," she added, trying to smile in an encouraging manner.
Finn hesitated for a second longer, then relented, moving over to the ladders propped against the laboratory wall. Jake stretched further into the room, swerving around Finn - leaving room for him to get past, but remaining close by him, just in case. Bonnibel watched as the two exited the basement, unable to help overhearing their whispered conversation.
"Did you hear what she was saying?"
"Yeah."
"Who'd'ya think she was talking about?"
"I dunno, the Rattleballs army maybe?"
"Oh... oh yeah, that makes sense."
Their voices faded away as they disappeared up the ladders and further away from her. Bonnibel sighed and looked away, leaning against the machine beside her, finding its cool metal soothing. She shouldn't have lost her temper; it wasn't Finn's fault that she was in this mess. And she supposed she couldn't entirely blame the Candy People for their decision, either. Looking at it from their point of view, maybe King of Ooo's carefree - reckless - attitude really did seem more appealing than hers. After all, she hadn't always made the best decisions in the past. She'd always meant to, but she knew she'd messed up more than a couple of times. She'd hurt people, despite her best intentions. Looking at it that way, she could almost see why they'd voted against her... though the betrayal still stung. And she missed them, despite everything that had happened.
Her current surroundings probably weren't helping things, either. Living in her uncle's cabin again was - to use the obvious phrase - bittersweet. Warmly nostalgic, except for when it brought back old, long-buried memories. Memories of past hurts, previous rejections. Considering what had happened here all those years ago, perhaps the lab wasn't the best place for her to be right now... Still, she liked having something to work on, even if this particular machine would probably never be used. Can't hurt to have it around, though.
Bubblegum stood up; she felt calmer already. She started picking up the scattered implements, her thoughts wandering. Maybe I shouldn't have put Starchy in charge of the election... She shook her head. No, I did that to show I trusted him. He's so paranoid these days... Can't win either way. Oh well, no use crying over spilt milkshake. The Candy People'll come 'round eventually, once they see what that wax idiot's really like.
Cheered somewhat by this thought, she dropped the tools on the workstation and pulled off her labcoat, tossing it over the stool before rushing over to the ladder. Jake was right; time for a break.
****************************************
Nurse Poundcake couldn't help but roll her eyes at the man sitting in front of her. He was spinning her yet another long, rambling yarn, this one involving a "flock of killer attack birds".
"- now, if it wasn't for my sharp instincts and fast reflexes - well, I suppose Toronto helped a bit - but nevertheless! It was a very close call, and -"
"What do you want, Princess?" Nurse Poundcake cut across him, irritated. She knew as well as he did that whatever slight injury he'd sustained this time, it was almost certainly acquired by sticking his nose where it didn't belong, just like the last time. And the time before that. And the time before that. And- well, the point was, she was rapidly growing tired of dealing with him. She really didn't need this, especially since there were so many other patients that needed her attention right now.
King of Ooo blinked, obviously taken aback at being interrupted. He frowned, then held his hand out to her, showing her a slight, rapidly-fading graze running across his fingers. She knew it - he was wasting her time again.
Knowing that it was quicker and easier to just do want he wanted, rather than argue the point, she sighed and flipped open a first-aid kit, rifling through it until she found a small sticking plaster. "Here."
He looked at her blankly. Nurse Poundcake grumbled under her breath as she removed the backing and stuck the plaster over the cut. "You know, you really didn't need to come here for this. It's hardly an emergency," she said pointedly, glancing over at the rows of Candy People in the beds opposite, all sporting injuries from the fire earlier.
"Of course it is!" King of Ooo said indignantly. "Didn't you hear what I just said? That beast nearly got my whole arm-"
"Just get out of here, already," she interrupted again, trying to keep her temper relatively in check. Now wasn't the time for petty arguments.
"Hmf." He rose from the bed and swept out of the room huffily, the double doors swinging on their hinges in his wake.
Nurse Poundcake waited until she could no longer hear the soft tip-tap of his slippers, then stood up herself, moving quickly over to the bed opposite. When she saw who its occupant was, she tutted. "You again?" - but her tone was affectionate, this time. "What is it this time?"
"Oh, nothing," Starchy replied cheerfully, sitting up to face her. "Just wanted to see how you were doing."
Her smile slipped slightly. "Starchy, get out of there." He hopped out of the bed, unfazed by her tone; she shook her head at him. "King of Ooo's already wasted my time, don't you start." She walked over to the next bed; Starchy followed, hovering behind her as she began to inspect the patient's injuries. "I don't know what you see in that idiot," she continued.
"For starters, he's not spyin' on us all the time like Bubblegum did!" he said; Nurse Poundcake murmured in agreement, pulling a roll of gauze out of the box and wrapping it around the patient's arm. She didn't dislike Bubblegum, per se, but she did disagree with a lot of her actions, particularly her overbearing nature. She'd voted for King of Ooo on Starchy's advice - he'd reassured her that the king would be much better than Bubblegum, that he was someone who really cared about his citizens. She wasn't entirely sure she'd made the right decision now.
"And I swear she was puttin' tracking chips in us-"
"Starchy, I'm busy, I don't have time for this," Nurse Poundcake replied, her hands slipping as she tried to tie a knot in the gauze.
"Do you have time to have dinner with me tonight?" he asked, leaning closer to her.
She paused, considering this. "...I'll call you."
"Yes!!" Starchy fist-pumped, then dashed out of the room.
Nurse Poundcake shook her head, laughing slightly. "Honestly..." She finished tying the knot and stepped back slightly. "There you go," she said, addressing the patient.
"Thanks, Nurse," the Candy Person said, moving their now-bandaged arm somewhat gingerly. She gave them a brief, encouraging smile, before walking away - then she stopped in her tracks, having properly noticed for the first time just how many patients were waiting for help. Nurse Poundcake looked around the room, aghast at the dozens of hurt Candy People that were crowded into it - some with light, barely-noticeable burns, others with more extensive injuries - Glob only knew how they were going to fix poor Punchy. She sighed.
Bubblegum might be overly controlling sometimes, but right now, Nurse Poundcake thought she might prefer that to King of Ooo's hands-off nature.
****************************************
"Oooohhh."
"*What did you do then?*"
"We had to give up at that point," she admitted. "I got them the night after that, though."
"Hey PB, if you have any more Varmint trouble, just let me and Finn know! We'll get rid of 'em for ya." Jake offered, between mouthfuls of waffle.
Finn nodded. "Yeah, it's been kinda quiet lately."
Bubblegum grinned at them. "Thanks guys, but I'm pretty sure they're all gone now."
Lady Rainicorn hummed sympathetically. "*I had Varmints at the barn, once - this was before we met,*" she added, addressing Jake, before continuing, "*It took me such a long time to get rid of them! I almost considered moving house!*"
"Heh, yeah."
"Man, remember when that lava man crashed out in our yard, Jake? He was there for a week before we finally got him outta there!"
The bulldog laughed. "That was wild."
The conversation continued in this vein for some time, before an unearthly noise erupted from upstairs. Lady shot a worried look at the staircase.
"Oh, Pep But has some friends over, just ignore that," Bubblegum said.
Lady didn't look entirely reassured by this, but she turned back around regardless. "*Sorry I arrived late, by the way*," she started, changing the subject. "*I was talking to TV, he wants to go to some sort of convention over in the Elbow Kingdom next week, by himself.*" She sighed. "*It's not that I don't trust him, it's just...*"
"Aw, let 'im go! What's the worst that could happen?"
Lady glared at Jake. "*The last time I let him go off alone, you found him passed out in a ditch!*"
"That kinda stuff builds character! It's an important life experience!"
"*No, it's not! He could've gotten hurt!*"
Finn and Bubblegum exchanged glances; they grinned, trying not to laugh, as Jake and Lady continued to bicker about their son.
"-c'mon, Finn, back me up here!"
"*Jake!*"
Bonnibel stifled a giggle as she pondered the conversation. She'd never really met any of the pups, but she could understand where Lady was coming from - it was how she felt whenever one of the Candy People told her they wanted to do something ridiculous and/or potentially dangerous. As she'd learned from centuries of ruling over them, pretty much anything could be a hazard if someone tried hard enough to make it one. Or even if they didn't, really.
She'd tried to discourage them from such pursuits, telling them to do something safer instead. It wasn't that she wanted to be a buzzkill - she didn't, honestly! She was just so worried about them all the time. It was exhausting to be so concerned about such a large group of people on a near-constant basis.
"Ya gotta let him make his own mistakes, Lady!"
She considered this. She'd tried to be more lax, give the Candy People some more leeway, and look where it had gotten her. I guess it wasn't entirely their fault. Maybe I should've taken the election more seriously, campaigned more... given them something else to listen to other than that charlatan's lies... I knew how persuasive he can be, and I still just let it happen...
Bonnibel sat up straighter, trying to clear her mind. There was no point in thinking like that now. She'd made mistakes, just like the Candy People had. They'd learn from their mistake soon enough, she was sure of that, but what about her?
"What do you think, Bonbon?"
Bonnibel jumped slightly, surprised both by being pulled out of her thoughts suddenly, and by the nickname. She looked over at Finn, who was sitting next to her. "Heh, just tryin' it out," he explained, somewhat sheepishly.
She blinked again, then smiled slightly. "Been a long time since anyone's called me that."
Finn looked at her curiously, obviously hoping for her to elaborate, but she continued: "Anyway - Lady? I think you should let him go to this convention. I mean, if anything bad happens, he's got powers like you and Jake, right? He'd be fine." True, she didn't know the kid, but surely any child of Jake and Lady's would be able to take care of themselves. Lady was just being overprotective... much like herself.
Lady Rainicorn frowned. "*I guess...*" She took another sip of her tea, thoughtfully. "*Maybe I could ask Charlie to go with him...*"
"Yeah, I haven't seen her since she moved!"
Bubblegum watched Lady for a second or two more, then looked back at Finn. "So, what were you saying about BMO earlier?"
"Wha- oh yeah! We had all these grapefruits..."
As she listened to the story, Bubblegum realized she was thinking about things too much - as usual. There was nothing she could do for her kingdom right now - but she could have a nice time with her friends. Hadn't she longed for a break from her royal duties, just for a little while? Looks like her wish had been granted, for better or worse.
****************************************
Toronto looked over the clipboard in his hands again, chewing on his pen absentmindedly. He barely registered King of Ooo walking into the room and past him, used to the wax man coming and going as he pleased. A shadow fell across the page; before he could react, King of Ooo was sitting close behind him, his head resting on the Shiba Inu's shoulder, his legs either side of Toronto.
"What'cha got there, Toronto?"
He pulled away, grumbling. "Stop that," he muttered, swatting at the wax man's chest. King of Ooo just laughed in response, as he always did. After a few seconds, Toronto sighed, then relented, leaning back. King of Ooo sat up straighter, moving his head away.
"List of complaints," Toronto explained, as if the last few seconds hadn't happened. "Uhh... that crazy gingerbread man got out again. Last time I saw him, he was chewing on the pinata guy's head... you should probably do something about that... one of the bananas slipped and uh, broke his head or something - sent him to see that nurse you like - a turf war broke out between the Marshmallow Kids and-" He broke off abruptly, as a sweetish, chemical smell hit him. He recoiled instantly, glaring at the offending bottle. "Ugh, come on, K.O., you know I hate that stuff."
"Quit whining, Toronto." He swept the little brush against his nails, ignoring the dog's protests. After a minute or two, Toronto gave up and leant over his clipboard again, going down the long list.
"Lessee... shortage of supplies in the infirmary... some sort of trouble over at the tavern... lots of complaints about the raised taxes," he finished, resting the clipboard on his lap.
"Tch, they should just move somewhere else, then."
"Mmm-hm." Toronto glanced at his notes again, briefly, then picked the board up and put it on the ground, next to King of Ooo, before looking up at him. "Hey, uhh..."
"Princess? Are you in here?"
He stiffened, then looked over at the figure standing in the doorway - a small, vaguely-familiar Candy Person. Toronto glared at him, annoyed at being interrupted. "What?"
The chocolate chip person ignored him, addressing King of Ooo again. "Princess, uh, there's a problem-"
"Yes?" King of Ooo replaced the brush in its bottle, dripping nail varnish onto Toronto's ears in the process.
Toronto started. "Hey, watch it-"
"Shh. What is it, um... Chewy?" he enquired, placing the nail varnish next to the clipboard.
"It's Crunchy."
"Right, right."
Crunchy opened his mouth, then closed it again, looking closer at the wax man - specifically, what he was wearing. "...Aren't those Princess Bubblegum's clothes?"
"They're the princess' clothes, and I'm the princess," King of Ooo replied simply. "Now, you said there was a problem?"
"Oh- er..." Crunchy paused, apparently trying to regain his thought, and then snapped his fingers. "Right, that's it- there's a baby dragon attacking the kingdom!"
"Are you kidding me-"
"Ah, and I suppose you need my help to vanquish it?" Before Crunchy could answer him, King of Ooo pulled away from Toronto and stood up, smoothing his red skirt back into place as he did so. "Alright, where is it?"
Toronto scrambled to his feet. "You're listening to him?!" he said, miffed.
"Of course! Unlike some people, I listen to my dear citizens," King of Ooo replied grandly. "Besides, you were saying I should pay more attention to them just a few hours ago."
"I didn't say that-"
"Onward, little candy!" King of Ooo pointed forwards; taking this as his cue, Crunchy rushed back down the hallway, leading the way.
As the trio walked down the corridors of the Candy Castle, Toronto felt increasingly nervous about this whole situation. King of Ooo was walking confidently, as usual, but Toronto knew there was no way either of them would actually be able to do anything if there really was a dragon there - he doubted Crunchy would be much help, either. He didn't understand why King of Ooo hadn't just ignored this, like he had with most of the other issues that had been brought to his attention since he'd won the election. For Glob's sake, he'd mostly ignored the last dragon they'd come across, so why was he humouring Crunchy? Was this some sort of set-up to make himself look good? No, it couldn't be - he'd have told Toronto ahead of time, if that was the case. Why wasn't he just letting this problem solve itself?
Crunchy lead them out of the castle and into the courtyard, where they were immediately met by a distressed crowd of Candy People.
"Princess, there's a dragon-"
"Help!"
"Princess, please!"
"Are you going to help us?"
"Oh yeah, cause he was so helpful with the fire this morning..." The last comment came from a small Candy Person standing nearby, looking at the trio - okay, at King of Ooo and Toronto - with a definite air of disgust. One of his arms was in a sling, and the light blue sailor's hat atop his head was slightly charred in places.
"King of Ooo is very busy, okay?" He fired back, automatically rising to his boss' defence. Some part of him was aware that the stranger's words were absolutely correct, but he'd never let that stop him before.
Before he could continue, he felt a hand on his shoulder; he looked up to find King of Ooo smiling at him.
"Thanks, Toronto, but I'll take it from here." He said quietly, before raising his voice, so as to let the whole crowd - in particular, the outspoken stranger - hear him. "I refrained from intervening this morning because I have the utmost confidence in you! I didn't want you to think I had no faith in your abilities - unlike some people I could mention," he added, pointedly. "What sort of princess would I be if I did everything for you, not allowing you any sort of individuality or-"
"Boss," Toronto interrupted, sensing that he was about to deliver a long, winding speech - not really what was needed at the moment.
"Oh, right." King of Ooo cleared his throat. "So, about that dragon..."
He trailed off, his eyes widening as he caught sight of the beast rounding a corner in the distance. The crowd followed his gaze and squealed in fear, scattering quickly, until the only people left in the courtyard were him and Toronto.
The Shiba Inu thought quickly, trying to come up with some sort of a plan before the dragon spotted them. "We should just go," he suggested, his eyes darting back and forth between the dragon and King of Ooo.
"Nonsense! I said I'd fight it, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."
"But-" Toronto cut off, desperately trying to think of some way to dissuade his boss from this suicide mission. "But- uh- why not just let that other guy sort it out?" His mind raced as he continued, "He seemed so calm about this, I bet he has something to do with it-"
King of Ooo laughed lightly - a little too lightly. "You're so suspicious, Toronto!" He paused, then grinned. "Or - could it be that you're jealous?"
"Tch," Toronto muttered, not meeting the other man's gaze. "You'd like that, wouldn't you." He shook his head - he couldn't allow himself to be distracted like this. "Come on, K.O., we need to get out of here before that thing sees us."
"What? Don't you think I can handle it?"
His voice was a bit too high, too casual - Toronto knew that tone of voice; it was the one the wax man always used when he was out of his depth but unwilling to admit it. Toronto stood there, torn between his usual sycophancy, and his desire for all of his limbs to remain intact.
Choosing his words carefully, he tried a new tack. "Why should you handle it? I know you can, but c'mon, you're the princess! You don't need to lower yourself to dealing with stupid problems like this, you're too..." He paused, searching for the right phrase. "You're worth too much, okay?"
"Of course," King of Ooo agreed, sounding somewhat more confident than he had before. "But I'm not going to just stand by and watch! Trust me," he patted Toronto on the head as he continued, "I've got this."
The Shiba Inu suddenly became fully aware of increasingly loud footsteps, coming closer and closer. The two looked up and found themselves staring right at the dragon, standing just inches away from them. True, it was just a baby dragon, but it was still significantly larger than them.
"I've... got this..." His voice faltered. Toronto groaned - he'd been right, this was happening solely because the wax man had been cornered and refused to back down. "Uhhh... N-nice dragon? Oh Grod, please don't hurt me pleasedon'thurtme-"
The baby dragon blinked, tilting its head back and forth in apparent confusion, or perhaps curiosity. Just what they needed - Toronto looked around quickly - if he could just get it away before it had decided what to do... His gaze fell on a small rock a few inches away; perfect. Snatching it up quickly, he flung it at the dragon with all of his might (which was not all that much, when it came down to it).
The duo watched as the rock bounced off the dragon's scales, narrowly missing Toronto. In a flash, the dragon went from confusion to looking decidedly ticked off. Toronto backed away rapidly, hiding behind King of Ooo's legs as the beast rose to its full height, roaring at them.
"No, no, I didn't mean that, I- aaaAAAAKingofOoohelp!!!"
****************************************
"Stars are bright tonight," Bonnibel commented to herself, adjusting her telescope. She'd been keeping an eye on the sky lately - not as much as she had done prior to her deposition, when she was still waiting for the Catalyst Comet to hit, but she was still watching, just in case there was any sort of fallout from the Comet. She knew the chances of such a thing happening were slim, especially this long after the event, but she didn't want to take any chances. Besides, she liked looking at the stars; the sky out here was so much clearer and easier to see than it had been back in the Candy Kingdom.
Just then, her phone buzzed against her jeans, her ringtone beginning to play. She pulled it out of her pocket, answering the call before nestling the phone between her shoulder and ear. "Hello? Oh, hi Finn!"
"Hey PB - um, are you busy right now?"
"No, not really. Why?" She moved closer to the telescope, scribbling down some notes as she began to search for constellations.
"We were on our way back to the treehouse and - I know it's not your problem any more, but there's a baby dragon attacking the Candy Kingdom, and-"
A scuffling sound, like someone had pulled the phone away from him. "Finn wants to just go and fight it, but we got fired - I don't wanna get us banned-"
"Jake, c'mon-"
"Guys, guys," Bubblegum said, trying to get the conversation back to its original point. "Look, it's just a baby, right? Are the Candy People in any danger, here?"
More noises indicating some sort of skirmish, then Finn's voice - apparently he had taken the phone back from his brother. "Well... not really. Baby dragons usually go away by themselves after a while, but..."
"Is Neddy in danger?"
"Don't think so... pretty sure he's still in the tower where we left him."
"Great - then King of Ooo can sort it out himself," she said happily, as if that entirely solved the problem.
"But- but Bubs, we can see him from here, he's running around screaming and flailing- I think Toronto's there, too-"
Bonnibel grinned. "Sounds like they have it under control. Just go home, I'm sure it'll be fine. See ya!" She pulled the phone from under her ear and hung up, pocketing it again before returning to her stargazing.
She knew this break from her duties couldn't last forever - things would return to normal eventually, and she'd once again have to resume her previous responsibilities. But right now, she was thoroughly enjoying letting someone else take care of things for a change.
Come along with me...