by T.S. Eliot |
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I was lunching one day at The Princess Louise, When I passed some remark to a man in white spats Who had ordered a plate of fried gammon and peas, So we soon fell to talking of thisses and thats - Such as Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats. I have been, he confided, a jack of all trades, A true rolling stone that has gathered no moss, I have seen much of life, in its various shades, And the fat and the lean, and the profit and loss; I have done everything and I've been everywhere, (I'm at present an agent for small furnished flats) - But the one thing that's made life worth while, I declare, Is Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats. I have been, he continued, involved with the Turf In the work of Accountant, in quite a small way, I invented an excellent specific for scurf, I bought second-hand goods, and I once wrote a play; I have acted as guide, on a Levantine Tour, And at one time I travelled (from Luton) in hats: And for all my misfortunes I've found but one cure - And that's Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats. Now my sister, for instance, who lives in the hills That lie on the border of Shropshire and Wales, In a comfortable house where her husband fulfils His vocation of retail purveyor of ales, She says, and for me I've no reason to doubt Her opinion, repeated in dozens of chats - She says there is one thing she can't do without And that's Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats. And my brother, for instance, who lives in the plains That lie on the border of Surrey and Kent, In a house newly built and with adequate drains, You would be quite surprised to know how much he spent On that house - he has actually had to employ Two men snaring rabbits and two catching rats - He says, there is nothing that he can enjoy Like Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats. Now my sister, of whom I have told you before, Is musically gifted, can sing like a bird, She can learn any tune and can read any score, She can sing any song that you ever have heard. I have never known anyone had such an ear, And she never goes wrong on the sharps or the flats: She says, there are no voices so pleasant to hear As of Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats. And my brother, of whom you have just heard me speak, Is a talented artist, I mean amateur; He only has time at the end of the week, But his portraits have made a considerable stir. He can sketch you, in no time, almost anybody, From Lady Godiva to Ingoldsby Oddie - He can draw like Italians, or Frenchmen, or Dutch, But prefers to draw people with whiskers and hats: And he says, there's no subject that suits him so much As Pollicle Dogs and Jellicle Cats. Well, I said very quickly, that's quite understood, So now let me order a small glass of port - It will set your tongue wagging, and do your heart good, (Any port in a storm, as a final resort): Besides, there's a question I now wish to put, Though I know what is what, and I know that is that. What you've said is exceedingly curious. But What's a Pollicle Dog? and a Jellicle Cat? Well at that he turned round with a look of surprise, As much as to say, Well now what about that? Do I actually see with my own very eyes A man who's not heard of a Jellicle Cat? And a man who's not heard of a Pollicle Dog Can't know enough even to fall off a log - Well, he said, at the worst there is hope for you yet; It's exceedingly lucky for you that we met. If you do not object to my talking in verse - Not at all, I replied, I enjoy it of all things, It's a good way to put either large things or small things; There is nothing like poetry for real monologues - So with that he began ABOUT POLLICLE DOGS. |
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