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"Cats" and all related things are the property of Andrew Lloyd Webber, The Really Useful Group, and related parties. Lyrics are taken from and based off "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" and other poems by T.S. Eliot, with additions by Trevor Nunn and Richard Stilgoe. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Ad-Dressing of Cats Sung by: Old Deuteronomy and The Company
Original London Cast	Original Broadway Cast	Original Australian Cast	Video
You've heard of several kinds of cat, And my opinion now is that You should need no interpreter To understand our character. You've learned enough to take the view That cats are very much like you You've seen us both at work and games And learnt about our proper names, Our habits and our habitat: But How would you ad-dress a cat? So first, your memory I'll jog, And say: A cat is not a dog. Now dogs pretend they like to fight; They often bark, more seldom bite; But yet a dog is, on the whole, What you would call a simple soul. The usual dog about the town Is much inclined to play the clown And far from showing too much pride Is frequently undignified. He's such an easy-going lout, He'll answer any hail or shout. The usual dog about the town Is inclined to play the clown Again I must remind you that A dog's a dog; a cat's a cat With cats, some say, one rule is true: Don't speak 'til you are spoken to. Myself I do not hold with that - I say, you should ad-dress a cat But always bear in mind that he Resents familiarity. You bow, and taking off your hat, Ad-dress him in this form: "O Cat!" Before a cat will condescend To treat you as a trusted friend Some little token of esteem Is needed, like a dish of cream; And you might now and then supply Some caviar, or Strassburg pie Some potted grouse, or salmon paste - He's sure to have his personal taste. And so in time you reach your aim, And call him by his name. So this is this and that is that: And there's how you ad-dress a cat. A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that: And there's how you ad-dress a cat.	You've heard of several kinds of cat, And my opinion now is that You should need no interpreter To understand our character. You've learned enough to take the view That cats are very much like you You've seen us both at work and games And learnt about our proper names, Our habits and our habitat: But How would you ad-dress a cat? So first, your memory I'll jog, And say: A cat is not a dog. So first, your memory I'll jog, And say: A cat is not a dog. With cats, some say, one rule is true: Don't speak 'til you are spoken to. Myself I do not hold with that - I say, you should ad-dress a cat But always bear in mind that he Resents familiarity. You bow, and taking off your hat, Ad-dress him in this form: "O Cat!" Before a cat will condescend To treat you as a trusted friend Some little token of esteem Is needed, like a dish of cream; And you might now and then supply Some caviar, or Strassburg pie Some potted grouse, or salmon paste - He's sure to have his personal taste. And so in time you reach your aim, And call him by his name. A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that: And there's how you ad-dress a cat. A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that: And there's how you ad-dress a cat.	You've heard of several kinds of cat, And my opinion now is that You should need no interpreter To understand our character. You've learned enough to take the view That cats are very much like you You've seen us both at work and games And learned about our proper names, Our habits and our habitat: But How would you ad-dress a cat? So first, your memory I'll jog, And say: A cat is not a dog. So first, your memory I'll jog, And say: A cat is not a dog. With cats, some say, one rule is true: Don't speak 'til you are spoken to. Myself I do not hold with that - I say, you should ad-dress a cat But always bear in mind that he Resents familiarity. You bow, and taking off your hat, Ad-dress him in this form: "O Cat!" Before a cat will condescend To treat you as a trusted friend Some little token of esteem Is needed, like a dish of cream; And you might now and then supply Some caviar, or Strassburg pie Some potted grouse, or salmon paste - He's sure to have his personal taste. And so in time you reach your aim, And call him by his name. A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that: And there's how you ad-dress a cat. A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that: And there's how you ad-dress a cat.	You've heard of several kinds of cat, And my opinion now is that You should need no interpreter To understand our character. You've learned enough to take the view That cats are very much like you You've seen us both at work and games And learnt about our proper names, Our habits and our habitat: But How would you ad-dress a cat? So first, your memory I'll jog, And say: A cat is not a dog. So first, your memory I'll jog, And say: A cat is not a dog. With cats, some say, one rule is true: Don't speak 'til you are spoken to. Myself I do not hold with that - I say, you should ad-dress a cat But always keep in mind that he Resents familiarity. You bow, and taking off your hat, Ad-dress him in this form: "O Cat!" Before a cat will condescend To treat you as a trusted friend Some little token of esteem Is needed, like a dish of cream; And you might now and then supply Some caviar, or Strassburg pie Some potted grouse, or salmon paste - He's sure to have his personal taste. And so in time you reach your aim, And call him by his name. A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that: And there's how you ad-dress a cat. A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that: And there's how you ad-dress a cat.
Notes Nothing of note.